


airplanes;

by dimpleskyun (orphan_account)



Series: the truth runs wild [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band), 걸어 | All in - Monsta X (Music Video)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Flashbacks, Guns, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, again based on the abuse hw faces in the all in mv, i watched all in and the oath teasers like so many times for this please appreciate it, set after the all in mv, the bathtub scene is what i'm talking about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-17 16:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16519961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/dimpleskyun
Summary: "We do solemnly swear, lives and everything that we have, that we will defend ourselves."Hyungwon is on the run from the authorities together with his friends when he finds Minhyuk again, who he thought to be dead.





	airplanes;

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonslover](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonslover/gifts).



> for you, meg <3 i hope you like it!!! :')
> 
> (about the tw: please read with caution for the abuse as it is mentioned a couple of times; as for the suicide scene it starts at "He crawls to the bathroom..." and ends at "He feels coldness around him..." it's not long but just in case!!)

**Winter**

**Year 2 after the rebellion**

**Year 2 after The X-Clan was formed**

**Month 8 after The X-Clan got separated**

They sit in a circle by the fire, the flames heating their shivering cold bodies. Winter is approaching and it is starting to take a toll on all of them, their hope slowly dying out but there is no stopping now. They are on the run still, merely escaping the authorities every couple of weeks. They never stop moving except if they know they're safe, catching up on sleep and eating until their stomaches are finally full. Today is one of those nights, with the clear moon up in the sky, the stars smiling down at them, no clouds in sight (yet the wind blowing is sharp and cold, getting under Hyungwon's skin and reaching his bones.)

Hyunwoo sniffles next to Hyungwon, wrapping his jacket tighter around his body. Kihyun is already sleeping (or at least trying to), their only acquired blanket wrapped around his body as he is running a small fever. Jooheon sits across from Hyungwon, silently staring into the flames, his eyes are sunken and tired looking.

Hyungwon himself feels worn out and in desperate need to set this adventure on pause, he wishes nothing else than to reach the end of this constant and endless chase, but before they can reach Elysium they still have a long way to go. The port where the boats wait for them is still at least three full moons away, but the thought that there's an escape for them, a place where they will be safe from all this tyranny and violence is what keeps him (and the others) going. The promise of something better waiting for them, a place far away from the poverty and violence and injustice they lived through in the past years, specially for Hyungwon who had an abusive father and a love doomed and criticized, is like a blooming flower in a previously dead field.

But even if there is a place that they will be safe at, it becomes hard to hold on to that thin string of hope. Hyungwon knows those boats to Elysium exist, he knows they are there waiting for them, he has seen them in his dreams, just like the other members of the X-Clan have, but it becomes hard to remember it when they barely have any time to dream, their sleep kept short and more often than not cut off.

It wasn't always like this, the four of them.

There was a time, almost a year ago when Minhyuk, Hoseok, and Changkyun were with them, the seven of them fighting their way through the wastelands, abandoned and full of soldiers that would shoot them or try to capture them, but by some sort of miracle they always made it out, until one time they didn't. It was spring and the trees were green and in full blossom, a bit contradictory to the way they were ambushed by the authorities. Soldiers storming out of nowhere, hidden in the bushes with camouflage outfits.

Hyungwon still remembers it vividly they way they split up to make it out of the forest, he ran ahead with Kihyun by his side, the two of them dodging soldiers, shooting back without coordination (mostly to distract and intimidate the soldiers that were chasing them) until they reached the outline of the forest, the trees becoming less and less until there was just an open field. Some feet away Hyungwon remembers seeing Minhyuk and Hoseok running, soldiers on their feet. Then a camouflaged tank appeared and from there on it was all a blur.

Kihyun did grab Hyungwon's arm, dragging him to the floor, hiding in some bushes as the tank fired some shots. It was loud and Hyungwon lost his hearing for some time, just a loud beeping noise in his ears. Hyunwoo appeared shortly after that, yanking them off the floor and running across the field towards another piece of woods, Jooheon somewhere ahead already. They ran, hoping their friends would follow. But they waited the entire night hidden up in trees, looking out for Hoseok, Minhyuk, and Changkyun but all they saw were soldiers roaming the area. Out in the fields tanks and cars packed with soldiers, no sight of their friends.

The next morning they moved on, no time to mourn. They still haven't mourned, life is too hectic and somehow they don't want to give up hope, holding on to whatever they could. They try to believe that their friends are still alive, trying to tell themselves that if the other three were to be dead they would feel it. Hyungwon wants to believe it, that if Minhyuk is dead he would have noticed some sort of disturbance in the bond that connected them all.

But it is getting harder and harder to maintain a positive outlook on things.

He misses Minhyuk so damn much, he misses his raspy voice, the sound of his laughter, the way he would uplift the X-Clan even if their future looked cloudy and unsure. He misses every single thing there is to miss of Minhyuk, and he wishes nothing more than to see him again.

"Hyungwon, do you want some?"

Hyunwoo drags him out of his thoughts with his question, holding up a small piece of synthetic bread that they stole from the authorities' trucks some while ago, when they last ran into them. By now it probably is dry and tasteless but it's food nonetheless so Hyungwon takes it with a grateful smile.

"What were you thinking about?" Hyunwoo asks after a while, when Hyungwon is done with chewing the bread. He probably already knows the answer, so it's mostly to make conversation.

"Minhyuk," he answers honestly, there is no point in hiding his thoughts from his friends, and no need. They know about him and Minhyuk and they don't condemn it. From across Hyungwon, Jooheon looks up at them, his lips pressed together into a thin line. "And the others," he adds as an afterthought. He misses Changkyun and Hoseok, too, whenever his thoughts visit Minhyuk, _they_ cross his mind as well.

"If they're alive we will meet them again, either out here or at Elysium," Jooheon whispers, balling his hands into fists. "Stop wasting your time thinking about them, it only brings you and us pain," he tells him harshly, frowning.

 _"Jooheon,"_ Hyunwoo snaps, warningly, to which the younger just scoffs and moves to lie down next to Kihyun, shutting his eyes tightly. Hyunwoo lets out a sigh. "He is right, you know, we're _connected_ after all. Your mourning over Minhyuk, we can feel it too."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just—" Hyungwon bites his lips to keep him from choking out a sob, the tears already forming. He doesn't want them to feel his pain. "I miss him."

"We do too, and not just because you do. But if we are supposed to meet again, _we will,"_ he reassures him, reaching out his hand to take Hyungwon's and squeezes it once before he moves to lie down as well.

Hyungwon stays up late, watching the flames of the fire die out, his thoughts visiting the days before the rebellion happened, before they formed the X-Clan and escaped the town, running from the law and the authorities. The time when Hyungwon was still a prisoner in his father's household, a prisoner of his doubts and fears about his love for Minhyuk. A time before he admitted defeat to his heart and truth.

* * *

 

**Summer**

**Month 4 before the rebellion**

**Month 5 before the creation of The X-Clan**

Hyungwon sits by the back of the pharmacy he works at now, taking a break and watching the streets in front of him. Across the small alley there is the store Minhyuk works at. The two of them met some months ago, their fathers owned businesses right across from each other and that summer both Minhyuk and Hyungwon got asked by their respective fathers to help out in the family businesses. Hyungwon agreed because he can't say no to his father; Minhyuk agreed because he was bored and had no plans for the summer or near future.

At first Hyungwon did not like Minhyuk, the other being way too bright and careless, dyeing his hair an odd color, white like the snow. But after some talking, mostly done by Minhyuk, he warmed up to the other and they bonded over different things. They even circle with the same people (having some friends in common), visit the same underground club, have the same political views regarding their town and country.

(Views Hyungwon has to hide at home.)

After a couple of minutes, that Hyungwon spends reminiscing over the past few months, Minhyuk walks out the back door of his father's store, cleaning his hands on the apron he is wearing, and then he spots Hyungwon, his face lighting up and walking over to him with a bright smile on his lips.

(He looks beautiful and Hyungwon hates that he feels that way, _it scares him._ He doesn't know what do do with his heart.)

"You look like a scarecrow," Minhyuk comments and Hyungwon frowns, looking down at himself in wonderment, feeling self conscious all of a sudden. He hates how Minhyuk possesses the ability to make him feel nervous and like he is soaring simultaneously, it makes his heart conflicted and his mind confused. "Here, have something to eat." He pulls out a wrapped sandwich and hands it over.

"Thank you," Hyungwon thanks him as he takes it, his stomach grumbling.

"I can't have you die on me," Minhyuk comments, jokingly, and Hyungwon forces out a smile, his mind wandering over to his father's strict rules of only having two meals a day (and all the other nonsense he feeds his family).

Hyungwon swallows as he unwraps the food, praying that his father won't come looking for him so that he can finish the sandwich in peace, and actually have a full stomach for once. Minhyuk moves to sit down next to Hyungwon on the small wooden box, his thigh pressing into Hyungwon's, his arm coming to rest around Hyungwon's shoulders so they can sit comfortably _(close)._

But the back door of his father's pharmacy opens and Hyungwon flinches, badly, jumping up and dropping the sandwich (it lands sadly on the floor, falling apart with pieces of salad, salami, and cheese now scattered across the gray pavement), he accidentally elbows Minhyuk who leans away with a pain filled groan but his arm never leaves Hyungwon's back. All the distress and shock was for nothing because it's just Hoseok who emerges from the back door, the other guy working at _Chae's Pharmacy,_ whom Hyungwon thankfully gets along with, being able to call him a friend (someone who frequents the underground club as well). He gives them a tight smile, eyeing Minhyuk's arm resting low on Hyungwon's back and the sandwich.

"Um, Hyungwon, your dad needs you," he says, looking awkwardly at the two of them, sensing that he interrupted _something_ (even if Hyungwon doesn't even know what that something _was)._

"Okay, I'll be right there. Just... one second," Hyungwon tells him, getting up completely from the wooden box and looking apologetically at Minhyuk, who doesn't seem to mind that much, shrugging noncommittally and motions with his hands at Hyungwon to carry on with his duty. "I'll see you later?" he inquires, hating the way his voice goes up by the last syllable, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

Of course he will see Minhyuk later, after all they go the same underground club every weekend for a big get together with all their friends and acquaintances. It started even before they officially met, that the seven of them would go to the underground club, separately before they collided, to meet up and let loose. The place isn't just for drinking and dancing, but there are political activities offered as well. The founders talk about a rebellion happening soon. Hyungwon isn't sure how he feels about it, a lot of sacrifices come with a rebellion: giving up his future so those after him can live a better life and there isn't even the reassurance that it will work out. But it is something that unites them all, the believe that they can fight for something better—the fact that they _want_ to fight for something better.

Hyungwon waves his fingers at Minhyuk before entering the pharmacy, regretting immediately the small action because it looks awkward and stupid, but he doesn't _know_ how to naturally act around Minhyuk anymore.

 

Later at night Hyungwon leaves his home, climbing out of his room's window, making sure he doesn't cause any noise that could disturb his parents' sleep and potentially expose him about where he disappears to on most nights (what he gets up to on most nights). Even if it is summer the night air is cold and crisp, so he wears a black sweatshirt to protect him from the coldness but even with it on he shivers on his way over to the underground club, walking fast with his hands shoved into his jeans' pockets, shoulders hunched up.

Once he gets to the place he knocks three times on the door, a small slit in it slides open and he comes face to face with a pair of familiar eyes. Despite that he has been here so many times before, for over a year, the person behind the door demands of Hyungwon to pledge their oath.

"We do solemnly swear, lives and everything that we have, that we will defend ourselves," he recites— _promises_ (because that's what it is, _a promise)_ —and the door opens enough for him to fit through, squeezing through the gap. "Hey," he greets the door guy who just nods at him, a faint smile on his lips.

Hyungwon makes his way through the small tunnel that separates the entrance from the actual club, it's a bit of a labyrinth, making sure only those that truly side with the rebellion will find it. To him it's mechanical already, the turns he has to take to get where he wants to, but for anyone else it can be confusing (he still remembers the first time he came, scared that the next time around he would have forgotten how to maneuver his way through the labyrinth). He reaches the end of the tunnel, a thick black curtain separating him from the actual club, the music muffled and distant sounding, and he moves it aside in favor of entering the room.

It doesn't take him long until he spots his friends, they're sitting at their usual corner, scattered across two big couches facing each other. Everyone is already holding a drink, the blue liquid shimmering in the club's lights. Hyungwon walks over to a bar counter to get one himself, he watches how the bartender places the white flower inside a glass and pours the blue liquid over it, tinging the flower in a blue tone, then he hands it over to Hyungwon, not demanding pay. After all their oath and believe is what they pay with—that when the moment comes to defend themselves, to fight, _they will._

(Sacrificing their lives for the better cause.)

He walks over to the place his friends occupy, sitting next to Minhyuk just as he always does—just like it has become natural to do.

"About time you came," Kihyun comments, pursing his lips, but there's no heat behind his words so Hyungwon ignores him with an elegant roll of his eyes.

The conversation he interrupted continues and he listens, sipping his drink, but soon his attention shifts towards Minhyuk who sits at a closer distance to him than Hyungwon initially remembered them sharing, and when he looks over at the older he sees that the white haired young man is smiling warmly at him, his eyes sparkling in the darkness.

Hyungwon isn't one to blush or feel shy, he tries his best to act cool and collected constantly but there is something in Minhyuk that disarms him and makes him feel clueless about everything. Not necessarily in a bad way but just as he questions everything he has been taught by his father throughout his entire life, it's almost as if Minhyuk enhances that feeling of looking at a blank world that he can paint anyway he wants. Minhyuk makes him question all he has ever known in the best way possible, reaffirming that what he has learned in his household was not the truth—far from it, actually.

His attention shifts though, when the leader of the underground club enters the scene, everyone in the room going quiet to give the man their attention, his closest and second in command walks by his side. He stands on a small, improvised stage by the back of the room. Jooheon clears his throat, his eyes over watching the scene sharply while Hyunwoo stands quiet next to him. Hyungwon forget all about Minhyuk and his conflicting feelings.

"I welcome you all tonight and I thank you for coming, this is an important night. If you do not feel comfortable you know you can leave any time, with the condition that you won't betray us," he says, his voice clear and loud, leadership radiating off of him. "Tonight we will test your loyalty. We have managed to create the liquid necessary for us all to share a bond, to be _connected,"_ he explains as Hyunwoo pulls out of the backstage area a cauldron that contains a neon blue liquid that shimmers strongly in the lights of the club. "A small sip is enough. I advise you, it'll heighten your senses for tonight and you might feel dizzy for some minutes, afterwards you will be fine. Hyunwoo and I have tested it already and it works." He grabs a silver cup, filling it with the blue liquid, and holds it out in front of the crowd. "Are you ready to give your all to the revolution? Are you ready to be _all in_ for the believe that together we can bring justice to this unjust and tyrannical world?" he asks, his voice louder, more excited than before, and the room erupts in cheers, Hyungwon joins in.

Jooheon gives the cup to Hyunwoo who takes it carefully, then he points at the nearest person the stage to come up.

"Come here, be the first of you many to take the step for something better," he says, bright smile on his face.

The girl nods her head, excited and determined, and walks on stage, taking the cup from Hyunwoo, downing it, then she walks down, her head held high and her eyes shinning with a kind of light that brims with confidence and conviction. The crowd cheers for her. The next person walks on stage and so the ritual commences, one by one they walk up to drink from the silver cup. When it's Hyungwon's turn he feels nervous, but the good kind. The kind that sets his heart fluttering, his stomach bubbling with excitement.

He takes the cup from Hyunwoo, smiling at his friend, and downs the liquid. It doesn't taste that much different from what they have gotten from the bar so far but the effect he experiences minutes later, after he has walked off stage, is very different. He feels the room spin slightly and he searches blindly for support, Hoseok grabs him by his elbows and leads him to the couches so he can sit down, both Changkyun and Kihyun are there, having taken the blue liquid already, snapping out of the initial strange sensation that comes with it. Hyungwon leans against the pillow of the couch, staring at the room in front of him, how the walls are blurry, the noises around him are muffled.

Then there's absolute darkness and silence, just for the smallest moment, when he regains consciousness he feels overwhelmed with emotions, emotions that are his and simultaneously not his, they're from everyone else in the room. He can feel the love in between Changkyun and Kihyun, he can feel the excitement of Hoseok and Minhyuk to drink the blue liquid, he can feel the pride of Jooheon and Hyunwoo about what they're achieving. He can feel the emotions of all the other people in the room he hasn't met.

And then it's over and he just feels his own emotions, but everything else is still in his soul—just dimmed and lowered, like someone that turns down the volume of the music.

Hyungwon lets out a stuttered breath, ranking his hand through his hair, shakily. There's no back anymore, he is part of this—this _something_ that is bigger than anything else he has ever been a part of.

 

In the lights of the club Minhyuk looks unnatural, his white hair now adopting a more blueish tone, his skin shimmered grayish, the paint on his face stood out. He smirks in Hyungwon's direction and takes his hands so they can stupidly dance together to the music playing. Their friends are somewhere still with Jooheon, one of the rebellion's leaders, getting their faces painted and inhaling the flower's perfume and getting high off of it.

It is one of the many night rituals held at the underground club, after hours of discussing the rebellion ahead it is now time to just enjoy the rest of the night, the hours they are hidden away from the tyranny outside.

Hyungwon swings to the music together with Minhyuk, the room spinning slightly but Minhyuk is in focus, strangely sharp and clear, as if he isn't real. But when the white haired man leans in ever so slightly, his face hovering centimeters from Hyungwon's, he knows that he is real because nothing in his life has made his heart beat this wildly, his hands shake this strongly, his breath catch in his lungs like this. Nothing has ever made him feel this free and exhilarated.

(With a revolution many sacrifices come, that is for sure, but there are doors that open as well.)

For Hyungwon that door he opens is when he leans in, closing the distance in between them, kissing Minhyuk briefly, chaste and sweet, testing out the waters. His head is spinning and he feels alive, _free._ Nothing will ever compare to the moment Minhyuk kisses back, his index finger and thumb coming to hold Hyungwon's pinky finger.

It's an affirmation to everything he has ever felt in the past, all those worries and doubts where he believed to be in the wrong, where he felt like he took another step into the dark, it all comes together right then. Pieces of a puzzle that he never knew how to built because he lacked the information, the knowledge, but now it all makes sense and he can finally understand the puzzle, understand himself.

Minhyuk is like a revelation. A revolution in Hyungwon's heart.

Hyungwon knows now there's nothing wrong anymore with the way he is. There's freedom all around him, from the way they're now swaying to the music in the club, to the way the people around them are dancing, all equally as free. Liberated from all their fears and doubts, united because they share pain in some form or another—homophobia, abuse, poverty, discrimination.

It all comes together then and they all learn and _know_ that they're stronger than what their aggressors and oppressors threw at them in the past. Every single person in the underground club feels that freedom in that moment, connected in some transcendental way. Maybe it's not the same form of freedom for each of them as they all feel it differently, but it's freedom in its purest form. A freedom someone that was born into it would never understand, wouldn't even fathom it.

They all share it, and most importantly the do so with _love._

At the end of the day, as weak and invisible as it might seem, love will break so many layers and barriers. Overpowering the shadow of toxicity and hatred that lingered in the majorities' minds and souls. The barriers that were taught to exist for them all but that through learning and openness and love could be broken apart, and Hyungwon is right there, with Minhyuk, running towards what is behind that barrier. The freedom, the love, the open mind and heart.

But the thing with that is that it's overwhelming so Hyungwon feels his heart beat quick and heavy in his chest, tears spilling out of his eyes but Minhyuk is there to catch them with his thumb as he cradles Hyungwon's face in his, looking at him with concern.

"Are you okay?" he asks, leaning into Hyungwon's personal space so he can be heard over the music playing.

"Yes, I'm just—just feeling all of this at once and it's so much—so much that I don't know how to process it," he explains in between sobs.

"It's okay, I understand," Minhyuk reassures him, his thumb caressing his cheek softly, his other coming up to softly grab Hyungwon's elbow. "Do you want to sit down?" Hyungwon nods at that.

They make their way through the crowd until they reach the place the were sitting at before with their friends, now there are only Changkyun and Kihyun, busy with each other (softly whispering things as they stare into each other's eyes as if one another held the stars and moon in the sky) with their foreheads pressed together and silly smiles decorating their faces. 

* * *

 

**Winter**

**Year 2 after the rebellion**

**Year 2 after The X-Clan was formed**

**Month 9 after The X-Clan got separated**

The night is dark and scary when you're on the run, every shadow, every rustle of the leaves on the floor, every footstep in the shadows becomes a threat to one. Adrenaline and fear running high. Hands on the cold metal of the gun, ready to pull it out and shoot at the potential threat looming in the darkness.

They're in an abandoned town, the clouds hanging low in the sky, no stars to be seen, the moon a sigil somewhere behind the wall of clouds. It adds to the already eery and tense atmosphere of the vacant settlement, the windows are threatening (most of the still have glass but they're just like black holes) and Hyungwon feels exposed, vulnerable. If someone is hiding inside one of the houses it's easy for them to strike and assault the four of them.

Hyungwon walks closer to Kihyun and turns around to glance around, trying to differentiate something but all he can see is absolute and obsidian darkness (accompanied by the unsettling feeling that they're being watched). He doesn't like this place, so he voices his thoughts.

"We shouldn't be here," he whispers, Kihyun hushes him quietly. "Something feels off," he continues despite his friend's action, frowning at the shorter man.

"I agree," Jooheon says, looking back at Hyungwon and stopping in his walking. "We should leave again before we walk more into the town and can't find a quick way out."

Hyungwon nods at Jooheon's words, feeling the so familiar uneasiness crawling up his spine and he can't shake it off anymore. Something _is_ wrong.

"Guys—" he starts warningly but his words are cut off when a hooded person comes out of a small alley, walking decidedly over to them. _"Fuck,"_ he hisses, pulling out his gun and pointing at the hooded person, but he doesn't shoot, something stops him from doing it.

"Who are you?" Hyunwoo asks, tall and threatening, gun pointed directly at the person.

Instead of replying the person glances around, taking a couple of steps closer to Hyunwoo until they're face to face, the hooded presence whispers something too quiet for Hyungwon to understand (and going by the way Jooheon and Kihyun only grip their guns tighter, looks of confusion masking their faces, they don't understand it either), but Hyunwoo lowers his gun, shock and relief gracing his face. He turns around at them, motioning with a flick of his wrist at them to lower their guns.

"Come on," he says and the hooded person disappears into the side alley again, Hyunwoo follows.

"Wait, what the _fuck?"_ Kihyun wonders out loud, not bothering to whisper, too perplexed. "What the _fuck?"_ he repeats, looking at Hyungwon and Jooheon, the latter just shrugging and making a move to follow their leader.

Hyungwon supposes he doesn't have much of an option so he follows into the small alley, but he keeps his gun out. He turns around to see Kihyun curse out quietly, passing a hand through his hair, before he finally follows as well, quick footsteps so he doesn't lose them.

The walk is quiet, their steps like whispers on the floor, light and quick. And Hyungwon tries to sneak glances at the hooded figure to try and make something out of them, but they wear standard leather pants, a tight belt around their waist with a gun dangling from it and several small bags, an oversized hoodie thrown over their shoulders and a jacket over it, their hood obviously pulled over their head hanging low so it covers most of their face, a face mask covering the lower half. He hasn't had a chance to even see the eyes, but if Hyunwoo trusts this stranger so will he.

The other thing he trusts is the feeling of familiarity that spreads through him at the sight of the stranger, the bond they all share due to the blue flower they carry in their systems it feels stronger now, and although Hyungwon still has hope he never lets it get to his head but this time he can't help it. He can't help the way hope eats its way into his heart, and with every step he takes he feels it grow in his chest.

They get to a small house and the hooded figure motions at them to take off their weapons. They hesitate, Kihyun mumbling a weak _fuck, no_ but he complies after Hyunwoo throws him a sharp look. The hooded figure opens a locked box next to the door of the house and they put their guns inside. After their all bare and vulnerable the hooded figure enters the house, waiting on them and once they're inside, the person locks the door.

There's a silence in which they all stand, waiting for the person to do something, walk them to where they were taking them, but nothing happens, there's just silence. Then a lightbulb turns on and the figure finally takes off their hood.

 _"Changkyun?!"_ Kihyun exclaims, surprised, eyes widening, reaching forward to embrace his lover. "What the _fuck,"_ he mumbles into Changkyun's shoulder.

When they part, Kihyun's face is tear stained, Changkyun doesn't have tears in his eyes but he looks wrecked.

"What is going on?" Jooheon inquires, walking closer to their friend to hug him as well.

"Sorry, I-I had to make sure no one was following you guys." he explains, voice raspy as if he was holding back his emotions from spilling out. "This place has been our base for a while."

 _"Our?"_ Hyungwon asks, heart heavy.

"Yeah, Minhyuk and Hoseok are downstairs in the basement," Changkyun tells him, a small smile appearing on his face. Hyungwon feels his hands shake but he turns them into fists, not wanting that hope to wholly encompass him, yet. "We've been here for a month, working out how to get to Elysium the safest way and because—" he trails off, biting his bottom lip, his eyes hushing over the four of them, "because we had to _wait_ on you guys. Hoseok has been having these dreams, that you would end up here, so we have been waiting and waiting, and now you're finally here."

"Wait, what?" Jooheon gives him an intrigued look, his brows furrowed. "Hoseok has been dreaming of us coming?"

"Yeah, at first Minhyuk and me thought it was just what he was wishing to happen, but he insisted it was a premonition kind of dream, so we believed him," he explains them.

"Did he have any kind of other dreams?" Jooheon further questions the youngest.

"No," Changkyun replies, then hesitates. "But the bond, we didn't really feel connected to you anymore."

"We have had our problems with that as well in the past weeks. It's due to the distance put in between us for the las nine months, it weakens over time if we're not together," Jooheon tells him to which the youngest just nods.

"How about you lead us to Minhyuk and Hoseok?" Hyunwoo speaks before there could bloom any other conversation. "I've missed them."

"Yeah, of course." Changkyun turns on his heels, walking towards a hidden, unlocking it with a key that he digs out of his pant's pocket.

Behind it is a tunnel that he leads them through. It mildly reminds Hyungwon of the underground club, two years ago when the revolution was about to start, except this tunnel is nothing like the labyrinth, it's a simple one way path, narrow and natural with the walls made out of clay and wooden planks on the sides from where lamps hang, not all of them work anymore though and those that do emit weak lighting.

With every step Hyungwon takes he can feel his heart getting heavier, his lungs tighter, his hands shaking. He isn't ready to see Minhyuk again, not yet, not when he hasn't had any time to prepare himself. It's all too sudden and he doesn't know how to face his lover, he doesn't even know if Minhyuk still loves him or if it's all in the past now. It's been nine months after all, maybe the other moved on.

A hand comes up to Hyungwon's shoulder, squeezing it, and when he turns around he can see Jooheon looking at him with a somber expression, his lips pulled together in a tight line. Undoubtedly he senses and feels Hyungwon's distress and anxiety, but it's not as if Hyungwon really can do much against it, it has overcome him wholly and there's no way to dim it anymore, so he just shakes Jooheon's hand off, clenching his fists as he keeps walking.

He hears Jooheon sigh behind him, but he doesn't say anything. No one says anything but Hyungwon knows they all feel it, just like he feels their apprehension upon reencountering the other The X-Clan members after such a long time. Even if all of them hoped to see them again, believed to see them again, the actual reality of it feels much different.

That plus the fact that even if they are close to Elysium, they're not there yet and the authorities are still on their heels.

When they emerge from the tunnel again there's a big round room with bright lights hanging from the ceiling, a table stands in the middle of it, on it are maps and utensils scattered all around, by the back of the room is an old couch where someone is lying on, apparently sleeping. To the left of the couch is a passage, a silk curtain hanging over it, a soft orange light emitting from there. Hyungwon lets his eyes readjust to the light inside the room, blinking repeatedly to get rid of the feeling of being blinded.

"Minhyuk?" Changkyun calls out as he steps further into the room, turning around to move his hand at them to follow him. "I'm back."

Hyungwon doesn't have to prepare himself, it's something he has wished for on so many lonely and sleepless nights, trying to avoid his pain because he didn't want his friends to feel the same pain, but in that moment it overwhelms him. He feels his hands shake uncontrollably by his sides and there's no point in trying to remain calm anymore. When the silk curtain is drawn to the side and a young man with black hair emerges, wearing leather pants and a tight jacket, with a face so familiar Hyungwon could draw it _anywhere, anytime,_ there's no point in hiding the emotions that overcome him.

He lets his heart take control.

He knows everyone else feels what he feels, but he doesn't bother hiding it or refrain himself, because _this_ is the only reason he is still here. Minhyuk's own eyes widen when they come to stop at Hyungwon's figure, surprise written all over his face. His mouth parts in a silent gasp.

Hyungwon doesn't waste any more time when he takes quick and long strides to the other side of the room, his arms coming up to draw Minhyuk in, hugging him tightly. Tears are falling freely, his heart soaring in his chest. He can feel Minhyuk's own relief, love, surprise, gratefulness, heart beat. He can feel everything his lover is feeling.

It feels as if the world stops for a second and it's just them in it.

When Hyungwon pulls away, he stays close to Minhyuk still, his eyes roaming over the other, mostly to make sure he is real and this isn't a dream, that Minhyuk isn't a hallucination that his mind has made up due the fact that he has missed him so _damn_ much. From Minhyuk's eyes there are tears escaping, sliding down his cheeks, and his lips are pulled into a faint smile. He looks positively ethereal. Glowing even, the orange light behind him making him look softer.

In his eyes there is that familiar glint Hyungwon has missed so much.

"Hyungwon, _love,"_ Minhyuk says, his voice raspy and restrained, overspilling with so much affection, "I've missed you." He hugs Hyungwon again, bone crushing and desperate. "So, so much," he whispers only for Hyungwon to hear.

"Me, too, you have no idea," he tells him, voice low as well, burying his face into the crook of Minhyuk's neck. "I thought I'd never see you again," he confesses, his voice breaking with the sob that tears through him.

Hyungwon is aware that the rest of The X-Clan is somewhere behind them, shuffling awkwardly at the reencounter of the two lovers, Hyungwon knows because he _feels_ their hesitance and awkwardness as if it is his own, but he doesn't care. He can't find it in himself to care, not when he has back in Minhyuk's arms, where he belongs.

"I love you," he tells Minhyuk before he pulls away.

"And I'm in love with you," Minhyuk replies, smiling at him.

 

* * *

 

**Autumn**

**Time of the rebellion**

**Month 1 before The X-Clan**

Hyungwon doesn't like the way it's quiet, _too quiet,_ and the rain is falling softly. Dusk approaching and the town's lights slowly turning on, the town's residents staying inside as if they sensed that something major would downfall soon.

It's not surprising, there has been a lot of tension lately in between the authorities and those that oppose the tyranny and injustice. The rebellious few that decide to sacrifice their lives and goals to fight for something better, the rebellious few that Hyungwon is a part of, despite his father's hate towards them. Despite that Hyungwon grew up in a household that despised everything and everyone that was different in the slightest, he could have very easily grown up to be like his father, but by some luck he managed to see the truths through the veil that covered his childhood, but there he is, walking through the streets at dusk, avoiding any interaction with the soldiers that patrolled late at night.

They—the soldiers—know that something bigger is about to come, what they don't know is that it's going down that night.

Hyungwon shields his face from the harsh wind, the wounds blooming on his cheeks, mouth, and eye sting at the coldness that has overcome the country in the past weeks. His father got mad at him for skipping a political meeting, throwing slurs and insults at Hyungwon, failing to see that Hyungwon long had abandoned his father's side - long before he even met Minhyuk. His father went as far as blaming Minhyuk, claiming that his son was the way he was now due to the white haired male, and for the first time in his life Hyungwon stood up to his father (not enough to fight back, though) and it resulted in violence, Hyungwon wearing the proof of the interaction on his face with shame.

He knows once Minhyuk will see the purple wounds that bloom on Hyungwon's face he will raise hell and not stand still (just like the other people part of the rebellious group).

After a couple of minutes Hyungwon reaches the underground club's entrance, knocking and waiting for the bouncer to let him in, reciting the oath again. He maneuvers through the labyrinth until he gets to the curtain, removing it. Behind the scene is a lot different from what he is used to, the usual relaxed and easy going atmosphere is gone, instead everyone is standing in combat attire, faces covered in masks, war paint on their faces, guns hanging from their belts or over their shoulders.

The air is tense and almost unbearable, but Hyungwon takes a deep breath and moves to where he recognizes his friends, Jooheon holding a silver container with different paint glasses in it, currently painting Changkyun's cheeks. When Hyungwon stands close enough for the weak lightning in the club to hit his face, just as he suspected, Minhyuk frowns as he takes in his face.

"What happened?" he asks, looking intimidating with the hood pulled over his head and the paint on his face.

"My dad," Hyungwon replies, avoiding looking directly into Minhyuk's eyes. He feels shameful and he hates that—he shouldn't, his father should.

 _"Fucker,"_ Hoseok says, his jaw clenched. "He will pay for it tonight," he promises and Hyungwon swallows the knot in his throat.

Despite all the shit his father has given him he still feels hesitant about pay back, even if his father has it coming, it feels wrong to him, but he knows it's just the mentality he has been fed over the past twenty-two years. He has gotten so used to be the one that is in the wrong, the one that should be punished, but in truth it's his father. Still he can't quite yet get behind that, but at least he has his friends to do so (maybe one day he will be able to fully leave this guilt behind him).

"I swear he will never touch you again," Minhyuk says, reaching out his hand to softly caress Hyungwon's face. "I promise you, Hyungwon, that once this is all over you won't have to deal with him or his poison ever again."

Hyungwon just looks at him, unable to form any words, a stone stuck in his throat, heart heavy and tears burning in his eyes.

 

The town is burning, screams and gunshots going off, filling the night air—the night that usually is always so peaceful and quiet—and Hyungwon is lost, _incredibly lost._ He doesn't know where any of his friends or rebellion companions are, all around him are soldiers—the enemy. They have him circled and he knows this is the end, specially when he sees his father walking over to him, two lackeys by his side (making him feel powerful and at hand) and Hyungwon shakes like a leaf in the storm.

He feels stupid then, believing in something like the rebellion, believing that there is something better than what they have, and now he is going to pay for it. He feels stupid with his war paint smeared on his face, with the hope in his heart. His father looks at him with a condescending glance once he stands in front of his son, even if his he smaller in stature he always feels taller to Hyungwon.

"This one is coming with me," his father says, voice authoritarian, yanking him by his shoulder to their house, that is only a few blocks away. He doesn't say anything else and Hyungwon can't see his face, just his straight and threatening back.

He swallows, fear and panic running through his veins. _He fucked up._

He isn't going to see his friends ever again, he isn't going to make it out of this living hell, but at least he can find solace in the fact that Minhyuk might make it. He feels the bond to the others to be still there so he knows they're alive and that's all that matters to him, it's all he holds onto as his father drags him into their house roughly and throws him onto the floor, looming over him.

Hyungwon blacks out after that but when he comes back to his senses it's quiet outside, no screams or shouts to be heard. He is lying in the dark house and he doesn't like the numbness he feels inside, the bond he shares with his friends is weak. _They're dead,_ is the first thought that comes to his head.

He manages to push himself off of the ground and crawl to the entrance door, it's locked. He glances around, moving into a sitting position (his ribs hurt and he tries not to groan out loud at the pain that shoots through his body), and notices that the windows seem to be covered with wooden planks, barely any light filtering through them. Hyungwon doesn't like the way he is completely shut off from the world outside.

Is this his fathers revenge? Lock him up and have him die slowly in there?

Hyungwon swallows past the knot in his throat, shaking like a leaf at the sinking feeling that he is weak and vulnerable and if he doesn't die in here someone else is going to kill him. The quiet that reigns right now is not permanent, it won't be long until locals take this moment of utter chaos to assault and steal. And Hyungwon is aware of all the enemies his father made, all the enemies that upon not finding Hyungwon's father at home they will take their fury out on Hyungwon.

He doesn't want to die like that.

His mind turns into white noise as he slowly descends into complete numbness. Nothing matters anymore, he supposes.

He crawls to the bathroom, barely noticing the progress he makes, not processing any of the thoughts that crash and run through his head. _Nothing matters anymore._

He doesn't know how he does it, how he finds the energy to turn the water in the bath tub but at some point he crawls inside the cold water, shivering furiously. But all that is a side pain to the way his heart feels. _Nothing matters,_ that's the last thought he has before he submerges himself into the waters of the tub, silence surrounding him.

Calmness slowly overcomes him as his lungs fight for life.

 

He feels coldness around him, wind howling and rain splattering on pavement, in the distance there are gunshots but they sound muffled. He thinks this is a weird afterlife that he is experiencing.

Something soft and cold touches his lips and someone mumbles something to him but he can't understand it. He is too out of it to fully understand what's happening, even as he tries to open his eyes it's blurry what he can see in front of him, but it looks like a person leaning over him. Behind the person the world is gray and blue and black, something that looks like snow is falling but it could very well be ashes as well.

Then the figure in front of Hyungwon parts his lips softly with their fingers and they slip something inside his mouth, he has tasted it before but in the haze that is his mind he can't figure out what it is. He starts to chew it softly, assuming that that is what he is supposed to do, he tries to swallow it but his throat is too dry so he coughs instead.

The person seems to understand what the problem is so the next thing he feels is a bottle getting pressed to his lips and he tries his best to drink the water but some of it ends up dribbling over his chin, down his neck. It's fine though, because he manages to swallow most of it down together with whatever substance the person gave him.

The effect is rather instant because he manages to open his eyes again without his eyelids fluttering shut and he can make out the person in front of him better. It's Minhyuk.

For a terrible second Hyungwon thinks he has died and that the only reason as to why he sees Minhyuk in front of him is because he has died as well, but then he looks around and recognizes their town around him, all in shambles. Ashes flying around and the sky is full of columns of smoke.

It's a horrible view.

"Oh, _fuck,_ thank you, thank you, thank you," Minhyuk mumbles, squeezing Hyungwon's hand, his voice sounds wrecked but relieved. "You're alive."

Hyungwon is alive and so is Minhyuk, and he knows that they will make it, because they're _together._

* * *

 

  **Winter**

**Year 2 after the rebellion**

**Year 2 after The X-Clan was formed**

**Week 2 after The X-Clan reunited again**

Changkyun is the first to see the ocean in the horizon, a flat line drawn in the distance, reflecting the dark blue sky, the sun is already gone but the path that separates them from the port isn't that far away anymore, they'll make it by the time the moon shines bright and the stars are all out. Just like Hoseok foresaw.

They take a moment to take it all in, the landscape around them, the fact that the seven of them made it there.

Hyungwon lets his eyes travel around the wast ocean, the valley beneath them that they have to descend to get to the port. It's breathtaking, with a thin layer of snow lying everywhere and giving it a dreamlike atmosphere, almost as if they're entering a wonderland, something unreal. And maybe it is, in a way, Elysium, something unreachable physically and abstract.

But that's where they are heading, _the_ _unknown._

It's the place they _want_ to reach, after all the hardships they've been through, they allow themselves Elysium and peace of mind. No one knows what that place truly is, they just know that it exists and that they have to head there, _together_ —the seven of them.

Hyungwon thinks back to all those moments of doubt, when hope ran thin, but they still pushed forward because they believed in it, because they had—have—each other and that is what ultimately made them all push forward, not give up. Hyungwon knows now that even if one of them would have died in the physical form they still would have reunited in Elysium. Because he has learned that the barriers he always was taught to exist are fake, it's just the fear and hatred and non-believe that built these barriers in the first place; and The X-Clan has taught him how to open his mind and heart to new ideas—new forms in which he can exist, on other planes, other dimensions.

And that's what Elysium is, the believe that there's more than what meets the eye.

"Come on, let's continue. We're close," Hyunwoo says and starts making his way down the alley, hitching his backpack on his shoulders, adjusting the straws.

The other six follow his steps, silently making their way down the path and into the valley, careful to not slip on the snow on the floor that turns icier the more the night approaches, the colder it turns. It's not an uncomfortable silence, it's calm and serene.

Hyungwon reaches out his hands towards Minhyuk, a silent question in the action, and Minhyuk links their hands together, drawing circles into the back of Hyungwon's hand as they march down to the port. They don't share any conversation, they're tired after the long journey they have behind them, and it's not as if they really need words constantly to fill the silence around them. They understand each other on a level than no one would understand and silence isn't a nuisance to them, something fragile that could mean an end to their relationship, it's simply a companion.

The stars up in the sky look different and the moon already traveled from one point of the sky to another, it's an hour in the night where they haven't really been awake at before, so the sky is foreign to them, but it's the same sky as always. They reach the port and only one single boat remains, a hooded person stands by the deck, beckoning them over. They comply, silently, and step over the bridge into the boat, nodding their heads and mumbling their oaths to the hooded person.

 _We've made it._ The realization hits Hyungwon like a ton of bricks and for a moment he feels short of breath. No more running, no more fighting for survival, no more worrying about losing Minhyuk and the others, no more war and violence.

"This is it," Jooheon says when they're all onboard and the boat slowly moves away from land, swaying with the waves that draw lines in the sea. "Elysium awaits us."

Hyungwon watches the dark land fade in the distance, the pale moonlight shining on the thin layer of snow. Minhyuk comes up to stand next to him, his arm slinging around his shoulder, watching silently together with him until around them there's only the dark ocean, waves crashing against the boat's vessel.

"Come on, _love,_ let's go sleep," Minhyuk says after a while, waiting for Hyungwon to come with him.

The other X-Clan members already disappeared into the boat's cabin to sleep, tired from the journey and grateful that they finally are liberated from all the tragedy and pain.

It's close to dawn when Hyungwon walks out to the deck again, he couldn't sleep anymore. Strangely enough, after all the exhaustion, those three blissed and peaceful hours of sleep were enough for him to be wide awake, staring at the ceiling of his cabin. He searched for the others, finding them to be fast asleep, snoring loudly, so he decided not to bother them, except for Minhyuk, and when Hyungwon asked one of the hooded people that habited the boat, they pointed their slender and pale index finger towards the front of the ship.

And Minhyuk stands there, his hands clutching the railing as he stares at the still dark sky, fading into light. Hyungwon approaches him, his footsteps quiet and light as to not disturb the dreamlike state this hour of the day brings.

"Good morning," he mumbles once he stands next to Minhyuk, who flinches, surprised by the company, but when he turns his head to look at Hyungwon there's a smile gracing his features.

"Morning." Minhyuk leans forward to peck Hyungwon lightly on his lips, pulling back to look him over, overflowing with love.

"Why are you up so early?"

Minhyuk lets out a soft laugh. "I couldn't stop thinking."

"About what?" Hyungwon asks, curious.

"For some time I thought we were like airplanes in the sky, you know?" Minhyuk replies after a while, his eyes fixed on the broad and endless ocean in front of them—around them—his now black hair is softly swaying to the wind that blows. He looks tired in the dawn, but there's an incredible brightness to his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Hyungwon asks him, frowning at the strange comparison.

"You know when two planes have flown past each other in the sky, leaving behind their tracks that often stay for a while, even when the airplanes are long gone already. And they leave an X hanging up there, that slowly fades," he starts explaining, a mysterious smile on his face. "The thing that I used to think was that these planes, they only meet that one time, crossing paths just _once._ I thought that was us." He looks over at Hyungwon and he looks so beautiful in that atmosphere, serene and so much more than what meets the eyes, all that _more_ that Hyungwon has had the pleasure of seeing. "But I'm glad we're not like those airplanes, meeting again and again instead."

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading ilu <3  
>    
> 


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